published on Pride Toronto’s website

October 13, 2010

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My first time: Prominent Torontonians share their first Pride experiences

Gay athletes speak out to shatter stereotypes

More gay athletes need to be open about their sexuality in order to challenge stereotypes and provide positive role models, members of a panel discussion about gays in sports said Friday in Toronto.

 “The more people are exposed to it the more people learn,” said Dave Farber, a player on Colorado-based gay hockey team GForce.  “That’s the only way we’re going to change hearts and minds.”

GForce organized the panel discussion in cooperation with the University of Toronto, to coincide with their participation in a tournament over the weekend in the city.

The team, made up of gay hockey players from across North America, strives to break down negative stereotypes by educating about the parity in skill, competitiveness, teamwork, pride and courage between gay and straight athletes.

At the panel discussion, three members of the team, including Farber, shared their personal stories of being gay athletes, including challenges they faced before and after coming out.

Farber, who played on University of Pennsylvania’s hockey team, said he was unsure how his college teammates would respond. But coming out ultimately strengthened his comfort level and in turn contribution to the team.

“In order to do any profession you have to be honest and open about everything in your life,” he said. “Hockey’s a team sport. You really suffer when you’re not open.”

The players cited Proposition 8, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and recent youth suicides as contributing to the overall discourse about gay people in America.

In addition to stereotypes that gay athletes aren’t as strong as straight players, the panel discussed how their teammates’ conduct and rapport influence play.

Andrew Goldstein, former goalie of the Dartmouth College lacrosse team and commentator on gay athletic issues for ESPN, noted his former teammates altered their vocabulary after he came out.

“There’s these little jabs people don’t realize they’re giving you,” he said. “When it’s you that’s gay it’s kind of like they’re attacking you. It chips away.”

Goldstein said coming out to his teammates and being able to share his life openly has been a powerful experience.

The panel discussion is one of the first GForce has organized, though participants hope to plan more.

The team is also launching the Athletic Buddy System (ABS), for young athletes to get in touch with out gay athletes as mentors.

“A gay athlete can have a huge impact, especially if they’re out and not hiding and being themselves,” said Glenn Witman, GForce’s founder and team captain. “It would be such a better environment for everybody if everyone could just deal with it.”

For more information about GForce, check out the team’s website.